Dog Killer Poker

Poker Stars scandal

2010-05-09T05:13:00.000-07:00

DO YOU HAVE ANY SCANDALS ABOUT POKER STARS TO TELL US ABOUT?

So do you have any stories about the stars of world poker?.If you do then please send them to me in the comments section and i will publish them on this poker blog.Maybe you live in Las Vegas and know a few things about the top poker players and would like to share,or maybe you grew up with one of today,s top poker players and have a few things to tell us about them growing up.

Whatever the scandal no matter how big or small i,m sure all poker fans would like to know all about it so please send these stories in.

Jimmy Fricke worst haircut in poker?

2010-05-04T07:43:00.000-07:00

DOES JIMMY FRICKE HAVE THE WORST HAIRCUT IN WORLD POKER??????

So does Jimmy"no stranger to burger king"Fricke have the worst haircut in world poker is the question on everyone,s mind these day,s but i,m sorry to say that the answer is no,Jimmy"just freakin feed me"Fricke has the worst haircut on the planet.Can someone close to Jimmy"does my bum look big in this"Fricke please notify him about his silly haircut and about the fact that his silly comb over is fooling nobody.

However i hear that Jimmy is more worried about what he is going to do for a face when Jabba the Hutt asks him for his ass back.Poor little Jimmy:(.

Lady GaGa poker face

2010-04-23T09:13:00.000-07:00

LADY GAGA POKER FACE OR SPADE FACE?

So anyone involved in poker must have had to listen to Lady GaGa,s poker face at some point over the last year or so but is it just me or should she have called it SPADE FACE?.Not because her face looks like a spade but because her face looks as if it has taken several blows from a spade.

Well you decide and let me know what you think.The photo above clearly shows her smashed up face and if you enlarge the photo you will see that Lady GaGa may have a surprise in her pants.

Tony G is a bit of a twat

2010-04-22T06:14:00.001-07:00

TONY G IS A BIT OF A TWAT DON,T YOU THINK?

So just want to say what everyone out there is thinking.Tony G is a bit of a twat.Wish he would shut his mouth and stop boring the poker world to death every time he plays a hand of poker.Wish he would stop going on about sending the Russian back to Russia when all you have to do is look at Tony G,s fat face and see that his family no doubt emigrated from Russia to Australia many years ago.Wish he would stop acting like he,s the hardest guy in poker and trying to intimidate other players.

Hope he continues to play $11 tournaments on Party Poker and stays away from the Pro circuit as he,s really boring me to death now and the sound of his voice makes me want to stop watching poker.Tony G **** off and leave poker it,s better of without you.

Funny poker jokes

2010-04-02T11:10:00.000-07:00

A COLLECTION OF FUNNY POKER JOKES

Here is a collection of funny poker jokes,well more like jokes about poker players.Hope you enjoy them.

Tom Durrrr Dwan walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink. He notices a monkey in a cage behind the bar and asks about it.

"You don't want to know," answers the bartender.

A few beers later, Tom says, "Come on, I gotta know what the deal is with the monkey."

"OK, I'll show you," says the bartender. He then takes the animal out of the cage and whacks it on the head with a bat. The monkey pulls down the bartender's pants and starts giving him a blow job. He looks at Tom and says, "You want to try it?"

"Hell, yeah," says Tom. "But don't hit me that hard."

A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that Greg Raymer is seated there furiously masturbating. "What the hell do you think you are doing?" she says. Greg Raymer replies: "I am very hungry." The waitress asks, "So how is jerking off in this restaurant going to help the situation?" Greg Raymer replies, "Because the menu say,s, FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED."

Doyle Brunson and another man from Texas were sitting at a bar when a young lady nearby began to choke on a hamburger. She gasped and gagged.

Doyle turned to the other Texan and said "That little gal is havin' a bad time. I'm gonna go over there and help."

He ran over to the young lady, held both sides of her head in his big Texan hands and asked "Kin ya swaller?"

Gasping, she shook her head "No."

He asked "Can ya breathe?"

Still gasping she again shook her head "No."

With that he yanked up her skirt, pulled down her underwear and licked her ass. The young woman was so shocked that she coughed up the bit of hamburger that was stuck and began to breathe on her own.

Doyle sat back down with his friend and said "Ya know, it's amazin' -- that hind-lick maneuver always works!"

A 16-year-old Tom Dwan comes home and tells his father, "Dad, I had my first blow job today." Dad is delighted. He thinks his son is going to be a world class Casanova. "How did it feel?" asks Dad. "Not too bad," replies Tom, "But my jaw aches like hell, and it doesn't half leave a taste in your mouth."

Q: What is Jimmy Fricke,s most successful pickup line ever?
A: "Does this smell like chloroform?"

Doyle Brunson is staying at a smart London hotel and finds a card in the telephone box offering sexual services. Later that night he calls the number and says: "I'd like a bit of doggy-style, a sixty-nine and some mild bondage - is that OK?" "It all sounds very interesting, sir," the lady replies, "but you might like to dial 9 for an outside line first."

Clonie Gowen was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,

"Where did you get that?"

The pig replied,

"I won her in a raffle

Jennifer Tilly please stop playing poker

2010-04-02T09:36:00.000-07:00

PLEASE STOP PLAYING POKER JENNIFER TILLY YOUR NOT VERY GOOD

So i think it is about time that someone asked/tried/made/begged actress(pinch of salt)/poker player(another pinch of that salt) to stop playing poker.I think it insults the intelligence of the game and the players that have to sit next to her at the poker tournaments.She has never won anything in poker and she never will because she is not good enough or intelligent to do so.This was all very well when she was a nice bit of eye candy with a cracking pair on her but now it seems hardly worth the while letting her sit at the table.

Just because she has some money and can enter these tournaments does not mean she is a poker pro and if she wants to keep doing so then OK but she has to stop going on about how she is a poker pro to anyone that will listen.Boris Becker is another one that falls under the same category,he is a wealthy ex-tennis champ who is crap at poker but plays it so he calls himself a poker player.Jennifer Tilly is a way under average poker player and it must be nerve raking sitting at the same table as her wondering if she,s going to get lucky and hand you a bad beat,the embarrassment would drive you out of the game.

Who has the smelliest butt in poker?

2010-04-02T08:23:00.000-07:00

WHO HAS THE SMELLIEST BUTT IN WORLD POKER?

So it,s the question that thousands have been asking and i,m going to work it out with a mix of science and common sense.

Greg Raymer is the unbackable favorite to win the title of SMELLIEST BUTT IN WORLD POKER and even bookmakers have stopped taking bets on this guy.However the rumors are that Greg will be happy to win any title in poker this year.
Jimmy Fricke is a young pretender to the thrown and good value for money at 3/1 but i think he,s to young to win it this year but could go on to become a future SMELLIEST BUTT IN WORLD POKER champion.
Mimi Tran is the only female to make the final table of the SMELLIEST BUTT IN WORLD POKER and i would just like to point out to people that they should never get drunk and try get a woman into bed who has the word TRAN in her name,looks like a man,pee,s standing up,can dunk a basket ball and give Chuck Norris a good fight.
Chris Ferguson is a long shot at 30/1 but worth 10 bucks especially if his butt is as hairy as his face.
Doyle Brunson has spent his entire life sitting on his fat ass and it must be going a bit stale so don,t be surprised if the old master adds another title to his already impressive list of poker titles.

German Poker Tour Robbers surrender

2010-04-02T05:45:00.000-07:00

GERMAN POKER TOUR ROBBERS HAND THEMSELVES INTO POLICE

So the on going joke that was the highly amusing robbery in Germany on an EPT event just got even funnier as it turns out that all the donk,s involved in the robbery have now handed themselves into the German police.So after the total donkfest of a robbery the robber,s seem to have forgotten the main objectives of stealing money and getting away with it.So just in case any of these guys are reading this article from the comfort of their jail cell in Germany i will explain what your supposed to do once you rob somewhere and get away with the money.You are supposed to not got straight back to the police and hand yourself is is what your not supposed to do.

So now i,m totally confused as to what is the funniest part of all this donkfest,was it the security guard throwing a bag at a robber with a gun(and the robber not having the balls to shoot him),was it the robber who ran back in with a metal bar to save his donkey of a friend(why not just use his gun?) or was it the way these guys robbed a poker tournament and got away with the money then just handed themselves in to the police.What exactly was there objective here?.Did they decide before they done the robbery that if anyone seen them doing it they would hand themselves into police?.If not then what was the point in robbing a poker tournament or anything else if you had no intention of letting yourself get away with it?.

These guys are dumb beyond belief and i could go on all day writing about the donkfest robbery but i got other things to do.I only wish that Greg Reymer would take a leaf out the robbers book and hand himself into PokerStars for not being a pro poker player anymore.Seriously when did he last win something or even go deep in a tournament?.Answers on a postcard to the Greg Reymer is crap competition please.

Tom Durrrr Dwan not Gay

2010-04-02T04:33:00.000-07:00

TOM DURRRR DWAN IS NOT GAY

I would just like to put an end to all the rumors and stories about Tom Dwan doing the rounds at the moment about him being gay just because he like,s a kiss and a cuddle with another man.Well all the stories are all BS as he has been seen out and about with a hot blond recently so i hope this will put an end to all the nasty rumors as they can be quite hurtful and what does it matter in the end anyway?.

Some people are even saying that the old pro,s would be turning in there graves at the thought of the best player in the world being gay but i,m quite sure there must have been a few back then also.

Poker Rage

2010-04-02T03:52:00.000-07:00

POKER RAGE IN BUCHAREST

So we seen one of the worst cases of POKER RAGE in Bucharest this week when football agent Giovani(or should that be Giofanny)Becali spat his dummy out (soother for American readers) of the pram and threw his chips up in the air and tried to punch the tournament director .So you might be thinking all this happened because he got a bad beat or two or somebody was giving him a hard time but this is far of the mark.No Giofanny flipped his lid because someone else was hogging the masseuse.LOL what a knob.

So don,t be shy and leave your opinion of this total knob head in the comments section below please.

Dog Killer Poker

2010-03-23T12:36:00.000-07:00

AN INTRODUCTION TO DOG KILLER POKER

As you can see above no dogs were killed or harmed in the making of this blog.The name Dog Killer comes from when one of my best friends reversed over his mother in-laws dog in the drive way and killed the poor thing(well i suppose you could say that 1 dog was killed in the making of this blog) and that is where i got the name Dog Killer from and started to use it as my user name when playing poker online and now i,m using it as my poker blog,s name.

So Dog Killer Poker will be poking fun at the world of poker both online and offline so if you are here looking for any serious information then you have arrived at the wrong blog.The Dog Killer Poker blog is a lighthearted look at the world of poker and does not wish to insult or offend anyone but it most probably will do so sorry in advance and if your one of the poker pros out there thinking about suing me for what i have wrote about you then don,t bother as i,m not the richest guy in the poker affiliate world in fact you can probably tell by the amount of banners on The Dog Killer Blog that i,m making nothing at all.